Seriously Whacked #3
Seriously Whacked
by Jeff Strand
© 2007 by Jeff Strand
All Rights Reserved.
I don’t own Delirium Books. In fact, I am legally prohibited from coming within 100 meters of Shane Ryan Staley. Shane has never asked me for feedback, never asked me to assist with his business plan, never even called me up to say “Hey, Jeff, got a minute? I’m trying to decide if we should publish more Keene books, and I could really use your input.”
But that doesn’t mean I can’t offer my opinion about how Delirium Books can reach even greater heights of glory. See, there’s a major flaw in the whole “limited edition” business model, which is that these books are limited. Look at Delirium’s hardcover backlist: They’re all freakin’ sold out! Want a copy of Gord Rollo’s Jigsaw? You can’t have one. Even if you corner Gord at a convention he won’t give you one. Oh, sure, he’ll say how much he’d love to be able to hook you up with a copy, in between his sobs and screams of “Please don’t cut off any more of my fingers!” but in the end, you’ll go home Jigsaw-free. And that’s just wrong.
People want The Rising in hardcover. They want 4×4. Do you know how many people took their own lives when my novel The Sinister Mr. Corpse sold out before they could get a copy? One. Okay, so that’s not such a big number, but as far as I’m concerned, even one Delirium Books-related suicide is too many. So that’s why I’m proposing that Delirium begin publishing…revisionist limited editions!
It’s a concept that is brilliant in its simplicity: When people want to order a sold-out limited edition, Delirium Books will print more copies.
[Hold for applause.]
Some of you collectors are probably thinking “But…but…but what about the limitation sheet?” Here’s the genius part: The author him or herself will cross out the limitation number and write in the new figure! Imagine how collectible a copy of City of the Dead will be when Brian Keene himself has crossed out “This edition is limited to 400 copies” and wrote in “950.” It’s almost like getting a second signature!
I know, I know: What about the people who bought the original version? Well, they should’ve procrastinated like the rest of us. Screw ‘em. It’s no longer just the early bird that gets the Earthworm Gods, kiddies.
The best part of this plan is that to keep his “I own every edition of every Delirium title ever published” collection complete, Kresby will have to keep buying the entire Delirium library over and over and over, to be sure to get a copy of every revision of the print run. That means more income for Shane, higher royalties for the authors, and a bigger collection for Kresby. Everybody wins.
I offer this “unlimited limited edition” business model to Shane free of charge. Peace out.
Comment by kresby on 1 May 2007:
I guess Jeff had a business lunch with Subterranean Press.
I don’t care about my complete collection any more. Who wants it?
This is incredibly funny, or maybe it’s actually scary!?!?
Comment by eubankscs on 1 May 2007:
You’ll sign it yourself- not just post a PDF or something like that with a pre-printed signature so everyone can just print it off and insert it into the original copies… C’mon Jeff, you’re putting too much of yourself into this. That requires time and time costs money- cutting into the profits to be made. And here I thought you were a true mercenary bastard… you can’t even be greedy the right way, man…
honestly- it makes me happy to see people are still offended by the recent buisiness decision of another publisher to make an absolute sham of the limited concept and then defend it it because “people wanted it”… Start by worrying about the collectors who always buy your stuff and maybe keep them happy… One more reason I love Delirium so much- Shane always does it the right way, even if he could make a mint doing hardcover reprints.
Scott
Comment by Stevefaust on 1 May 2007:
As I’m reading this, I’m thinking “Isn’t this being done?”
Comment by SLIM on 1 May 2007:
This all sound like a great idea, cuz I’m to lazy to look out for older titles and to stupid to know there are paper backs of some of the above mentioned. Can I get fries with that?
Comment by Tree705 on 1 May 2007:
This will work great use buyer of Delerium are idiots so hell half of us will buy the same book three or four times and never even realize it.
Comment by Scott Berke on 1 May 2007:
Deja Vous.
Comment by gguthrie on 1 May 2007:
The sad thing is this is a horrible idea that also makes sense. Subterranean Press (as mentioned) above is doing a 2nd edition of Joe Hill’s Heart Shaped Box (PS Publishing is also known for doing this). I have one of the Heart Shaped Box Deluxe Editions of 200 copies, and now there’s going to be another 100 deluxe editions out there. Well that sucks, what the heck is my book worth now! But I’ve been in this situation before, and what happened was some friends who didn’t get it the first time around got it the second time, so I was happy for my friends who had an opportunity to own the book, even though it devalued my own book. Pretty scary huh?
Comment by PG on 1 May 2007:
Trade hardcovers, trade paperbacks, and mass-market paperbacks are all forms where this practice would be acceptable, encouraged in fact. But marketing and selling books as limited editions it is another story. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.
PG
Comment by badmoon on 1 May 2007:
Sounds like a “Sub” par idea to me……………
Comment by JeffStrand on 1 May 2007:
I also think that future Delirium titles should be packaged in heart-shaped boxes.
Comment by kresby on 1 May 2007:
Comment by noigeloverlord on 2 May 2007:
I think one of each DB titles should be given Free to Noigeloverlord!That way all would be right in the World!!
Comment by kresby on 2 May 2007:
Hey noigeloverlord - that’s MY plan. But to make it work one must first acquire multiple lifetime subscriptions and keep them long enough that they pay for themselves - and then Shane must keep producing books which are then free. So - I need to talk Shane into more life subs…:)
Comment by Scott Berke on 2 May 2007:
So - I need to talk Shane into more life subs…:)
YES…..YES…..YES….YES….!!!!!!!